Child Support
by Pandora's Box Is Heavy
Summary: True love blooms when a Tom takes care of his pussycat. O/S


**Child Support**

**Bella Swan**

The warm body weaves in and out between my legs while I'm trying to cook dinner. Someone is trying to get on my good side. As far as she's concerned that is not possible.

"Meeeeeow!"

"No, cat!" I shoo her away. "No tuna for you."

She gives me the stink eye, extends one long furry leg, and starts cleaning her cooch. The thing that got us into this whole mess.

"I'm serious. Go lie down somewhere." I point to the living room. "And think about your terrible life choices and how their consequences affect everyone."

Her tail twitches back and forth as she waddles away.

"Little whore," I grumble.

It's partially my fault. I should have known better than to trust the chick in the Home Depot parking lot when she said all of the kittens she was desperate to get rid of were fixed and up to date on their shots. I should have been more proactive in getting her in to see a vet after I brought her home. I should not have trusted my idiot brother when he told me that it was possible for a spayed cat to go into heat.

Emmett is a personal chef and knows less about animals than I do.

Imagine my surprise when I took Catniss in for a check up when I realized she was gaining a lot of weight and not acting like her normal crack-headed self.

I feared it was something terminal, because I'd grown to love the mouse catcher, but I found out she got herself knocked up.

She'd only gotten out once since I brought her home, but apparently, that was enough. More than enough. Now I have a teen mom on my hands.

"I'm too young to be a grandma."

All I wanted was a furry companion, but I got a slutty money pit instead. Because in this day and age, pregnant domesticated cats require a special diet. This bitch is eating better than I do these days.

"Meooooooow."

I ignore her pleas for attention and wait for the timer to go off, signalling that my Lean Cuisine for one is finished nuking in the toaster oven.

My brother calls to check on preggers. Emmett feels guilty, as he should. He's appalled to hear that I'm eating a frozen dinner while Catniss eats her ridiculously expensive food followed by supplements to ensure the fetuses' health. There are three little bastards taking their sweet ass time to join us.

"_Have you thought about what you're going to do with the babies once they're of age?"_

I sigh.

"I called a few nearby no-kill shelters, and they're all full to capacity." I cradle the phone against my ear and peel the cellophane off the top of my poor excuse of a meal. "I can't afford to keep them, and I'm not ready to admit defeat and become the neighborhood spinster with her house full of cats anyway."

Emmett hums thoughtfully for a moment, and then screams "lightbulb" and hangs up on me.

I'm used to his brand of crazy so I set my phone down and eat over the sink for easy cleanup.

Tomorrow is my day off. I decide to call it a night so I can wake up bright and early and take advantage of the good weather. I've been so busy at the office I temp at that my yard has paid the price, and I'm tired of my neighbor's backhanded comments she makes when she catches me outside.

Catniss finds her way into my bed and curls up at my feet.

I press my toes against her belly and feel all her babies swim around.

"Any day now, girl," I whisper.

She sighs tiredly.

**{CHILD SUPPORT}**

I'm sweating like a stuffed pig while raking leaves and shoving them in giant garbage bags when Tanya finds me. She's wearing a velour tracksuit and kitten heels while my big floppy hat and holey sweats keep me protected from the sun.

"Oh, Bella!" she crows. "I was starting to think you'd never get around to taking care of this mess."

I roll my eyes and greet her.

"I almost sent our landscaping technician over to do a little sprucing." She tuts. "To take care of the eyesore of the neighborhood, you know."

Once upon a time before her husband was arrested for embezzlement, Tanya was the queen of the Homeowners Association. Now she lives on a cul de sac that is one level above subsidized housing. Now her _landscaping technician _is a ten year old with a push mower. She's obviously having a difficult time transitioning.

Tanya is a giant gossip hag so while I perform manual labor, she picks at her nail polish and catches me up on the happenings in our rather quiet neighborhood.

The Copes have decided to sell their house so they can rent an RV and do some traveling now that they've retired.

I hum in agreement when Tanya mentions that the Mallorys are one fight away from filing for divorce. They are crazy dramatic and argue constantly, so it's only a matter of time.

When I look up, I notice that Tanya is holding a piece of paper in her clenched fist.

I'm a nosy bitch. "So, what do you have there? Another passion party? Potluck down at the Y?"

"I came to talk to you about what I found this morning during my sunrise power walk."

_Who does that?_

"Another moving sale over on Spruce?"

Tanya's face starts to turn pink. "No, your ad looking for a baby daddy." She thrusts the flyer at me.

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"It's the twenty-first century. You can find anything on the internet, sweetie."

I unfold the paper and snort. This has Emmett written all over it from the terrible photoshop job to the spelling errors. There's a picture of Catniss with a human sonogram and positive pregnancy test.

_**In search of hte Tom who got a hold of my pusy 2 mnths ago!**_

_**Kidz r expensive af.**_

_**Take cre of ur responsibilities and do the rite thing, yo.**_

Followed by my address and phone number.

"This just screams desperation," Tanya stresses.

I stand up and wave the flyer in her face. "I obviously didn't do this."

Tanya doesn't believe me. With an exaggerated wink, she tells me she took care of the flyers on her walk and that I should sign up for a free trial with eharmony. She trots back to her house, leaving heel-sized holes in my lawn.

"Fucking Emmett."

My brother manages to deflect my calls and physical attempts to confront him for five days, and by the time I see him face to face, I don't know what I'm more annoyed with: the flyers or the fact that he's been ignoring me.

I lie. It's definitely the flyers.

"Oh, hey, Bella."

"Don't you 'hey, Bella' me, you asshole!" I screech.

"Isabella Marie, you better watch your mouth," my mother hisses. "And your tone, young lady."

"Sorry, Ma. I'm just really piss—mad. I'm really mad at Emmett right now for plastering my address and phone number all over the neighborhood."

"Emmett!"

"I was trying to help Bella find the cat responsible for knocking up my four-legged niece."

He might be three times my size but that doesn't stop me from launching myself at him, fists blazing.

"Ow, stop it!" he howls.

But I don't stop. Nope. Not until he's crying in a heap on the floor.

"I have to get my number changed because of you, you stupid dick head."

"Isab—"

"MOM! Let me have this."

She sighs in defeat and goes back to her knitting, mumbling about the heathens she raised.

"Get off me, you bag of bones." Emmett groans.

I stick my finger in my mouth, and then wiggle it in his ear, making him squeal like a girl.

"I get calls. At all hours of the night, asking about my pussy, Em. You're paying me back for the fee to get a new number and my pain and suffering."

"Pain and suffering?"

I mash his head into the carpet and stand up.

"All hours, Em. And don't even get me started on the fact that you also put my address on the flyers."

Mom gasps, and I find my moment to get her on my side of this sibling argument. I go in for the kill.

"I mean, you basically told the entire neighborhood and the ones surrounding that I'm a single woman living on my own. You're just asking for someone to break in and do God knows what to me and your four-legged niece that you claim to love so much."

"Emmett Dale!"

Mom spends the rest of the night talking about the potential danger my brother has put me in. It's so bad he makes a lame excuse to leave early.

He squeezes me extra hard behind her back and ensures that I have nothing to worry about. That he has an idea.

I make him swear he won't put up flyers redacting the call for a baby daddy for my cat, but he just winks and slinks out the door.

I head straight home after dinner because Catniss could give birth any day now.

Imagine my surprise when I find a small bag of Meow Mix sitting on my porch with a note. _**Child support payment**_

"What the fuck?"

I look around, but everyone is already in for the night. I highly doubt the mosquitoes and fruit flies from Tanya's compost heap dropped off the cheapest cat food on the planet.

The vet put Catniss on a special diet that is so expensive I had to cancel Showtime and HBO last month. I have no fucking idea how I'm going to afford to feed three extra, hungry mouths. I sure as shit know it won't be Meow Mix.

Catniss is lying in her bed, looking absolutely miserable but baby free for the time being.

I grab a piece of paper and a marker and tape a note on the pathetic excuse for child support. **Fucking cheapskate**

**{Child Support}**

Days pass slowly. Between work and trying to be there when shit goes down at home, I am beyond exhausted.

The random donor has fixed their mistake with a bag of the vet-approved food and a letter of apology scribbled on the back of a receipt.

I don't know who the person is, but I'm grateful for the help, so we started corresponding via notes on my porch.

They've also started leaving random gifts for Catniss like fancy treats from a high falutin pet bakery in the city, and the day after I inform them that we're expecting three kittens, I find three adorable collars—To help tell them apart when they're born.

I come home early from work a few times in an effort to catch the mysterious gifter during a drop, but they continuously elude me.

As time goes by, I grow paranoid.

Mom doesn't help because she keeps calling me to make sure I'm alive, and she sends Dad over with protection—a new can of pepper spray and a billy club. Just in case.

If the owner of Catniss's baby daddy can sneak up on me, who's to say some other rando can't sneak up and try to steal my virtue or my Instapot?

When I admit defeat and call my brother to see if he can come stay with me at night, he just tells me that he's got it covered and everything is fine.

I tell him about the child support payments, and he hangs up on me.

Two more days pass by, and I've taken the rest of the week off because if Catniss doesn't give birth by Saturday, her vet wants me to bring her in.

I stop by the grocery store on the way home for supplies and find Catniss building a nest in my closet. All of the websites tell me that she will choose the place she deems safest, so I let her do her thing while I gather all of the ratty old towels and blankets I've been collecting.

I'm trying to decide whether I want meatloaf or fiesta chicken Lean Cuisine for dinner when I hear Emmett's quarter life crisis pull up—Subwoofers and an exhaust system so loud it makes the windows shake.

He calls the monstrosity a reward for all of his hard work. I call it his attempt to overcompensate for having a small dick.

Emmett walks right into the house and his eyes fall on me. "I brought you dinner so put"—he scowls at the frozen dinners I'm holding—"those away."

I shove the boxes back into the freezer and join him at the island.

It isn't until he presents me with my favorite foods from my favorite restaurant that I start to smell something fishy. And I'm not talking about the fish tacos sitting in front of me.

"Why are you here?"

Emmett chokes on his green tea. "Can't a guy just visit his sister for some decent grub and conversation?"

He's been my brother all my life. I can spot his tells from a mile away. The way his upper lip forms the top of a heart and his left eye gets a little lazy. Yup.

"What did you do?"

He opens his mouth to answer but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Emmett's eyes light up, and he all but dances to the door. "That'll be Embry."

I follow him. "Embry Call? Why the hell is Embry Call at my house? Emmett, what did you do?"

The knocking persists, but my idiot brother still goes to open the door.

"Embry is between jobs at the moment and—"

"He's always between jobs."

"I hired him to keep an eye on your place."

"WHAT?" I screech, slapping his arm.

"You said you were afraid that someone would take advantage of your situation, so I wanted to make sure you were okay. It was for your safety, Bella."

I try to hit him again, but the persistent knocking turns into what sounds like a scuffle on my front porch.

"Yo, Em! Open the fuggin' door."

I try to silently convey to my brother that he should do anything but open the door for the town drunk, but Emmett isn't the sharpest pencil in the box.

He swings the door open, revealing a smelly, washed-out hasbeen and ... The hot jogger that passes by my house at seven-twenty-three every morning. The hot jogger I changed my entire morning routine so I could watch his feet slap concrete for.

"Um."

"Caught this joker slinking around the porch and figured I'd take him down and let you confront him," Embry explains, tightening his hold on the man's neck.

"You don't want to do this, man," he chokes out.

"Shut up, pervert," Embry tells him.

In one swift move, a blink of an eye really, the roles have reversed, and Embry is laid out on my front porch with the stranger's boot to his throat.

"Lemme go, asshole," Embry cries and starts clawing at the worn Doc Marten pinning him down.

Emmett's eyes are the size of saucers. "Holy fuck, how did you do that?" he demands, and his voice is full of awe.

The stranger lets Embry go and shrugs. "I teach self defense classes down at the rec center."

Embry sounds like he's coughing up a lung as he asks Emmett to just pay him so he can leave, but my brother is all but fangirling over the hot jogger who moonlights as a hot Chuck Norris.

"Just give me the twenty you promised me so I can get the hell out of here, Em."

"In a second," Emmett waves it off and turns his attention back on the stranger. "What's the schedule for these classes like?"

His pretty green eyes blink in confusion, and he leans down to pick up a bag. "The classes?"

Emmett huffs impatiently. "The self defense classes, bro! I want in on the action." He waves his meaty hand around. "Can you teach me how to do that?"

"Um, sure. The class is usually female oriented but ... yeah, I guess."

"Awesome."

I finally find my voice.

"Hello!"

All three men turn to me.

"Mind telling me what the fuck is going on?" And, all three answer at the same time:

"I just want my money." -Embry

"Do you provide the wax or is that something I need to bring?" -Emmett.

"Wait, what?" -Stranger.

"You know, wax on, wax off? Karate Kid? Teach me everything you know, Sensei," Emmett pleads.

I dig in my pockets and count out the bills I find.

"Here, Embry." I hand him eighteen dollars. "Emmett will get you the rest later I'm sure."

He tries to argue, but I give him my meanest bitch brow, and he slinks back to his bicycle and rides off into the night.

I take a deep breath and tell my brother to stop embarrassing himself.

He flips me off and turns back to the hot jogger to ask another insane question only to be cut off.

"You said Catniss liked the treats I got her, so I picked up some more," he says and hands me the bag.

"Wait. You're Tom's owner?"

He smirks and runs a hand through his unruly hair. "His name is actually Peter, and yeah, I'm his owner." He holds a hand out. "Edward."

"I'm Bella, but you already know that thanks to the flyers." I glare at my brother.

"It's nice to officially meet you, Bella." Edward smiles. "I need to get home or Peter will start eating my furniture."

"Sure. Thanks for the treats and the food. You really don't have to keep paying child support, you know."

He shrugs. "He got out the day of his neuter appointment, and I caught them in the act. I thought she was a stray until I saw the flyers." He smiles. "It's the least I can do. Mama raised me to be a gentleman and take care of my responsibilities."

Emmett offers to walk Edward home so he can find out more about the self defense classes, and I decide to check on my furball.

The panting has increased and it looks like she peed on the pair of pumps my mom insisted I needed.

"How we doing, girl?" I sit down outside of the closet and reach for the bag. "You're boyfriend's owner dropped off some more of those treats you loved."

Catniss turns her nose at the treats and starts licking her cooch.

"Okay then."

Dinner is ruined, and after all of the excitement, I'm not hungry.

I clean up the mess and grab a pint of ice cream to enjoy while I catch up on my shows in bed.

**{CHILD SUPPORT}**

I guess some good did come out of Emmett and his flyers.

Edward AKA hot jogger has my number, and he texts me all the time.

I mean, all the damn time. The questions sometimes shift from Catniss to me. Favorite colors, movies and music. Food and celebrity crushes.

We have a lot in common, and I like it.

When Catniss finally goes into labor, it's two in the morning, and I don't hesitate to call him.

His voice is rough with sleep. "_Hello?"_

"IT'S GO TIME!"

"_Bella?"_

"Who else is calling you in the middle of the night?" I ask excitedly. "Catniss just gave birth to the first kitten, and she's doing disgusting things."

"_Okay ..."_

"SO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" I hang up the phone and rush to unlock the front door before returning to my job as a birthing coach.

I shoot a text to Edward to let him know that he can just come in and where to find us.

"You're doing so great, girl," I whisper and try not to gag.

The websites warned me about the horrors of the birth process, but I was not prepared.

The wiggly little kitten is already latched onto a boob, and Catniss is licking her downstairs.

"I think we should name this one Piglet." I coo.

A soft knock on the doorframe gets my attention.

HOT DAMN.

He's wearing pajama bottoms and a wife beater, but he looks entirely edible.

"Come on." I wave him in.

"I, uh, brought you these." He hands me a bouquet of flowers and kneels down next to me to take a look.

"Are you ever going to come to my house without a gift?"

He puts a finger to his mouth and points into the closet.

Baby number two is larger than the first, but Catniss is a fucking champ.

"It's so gross." I groan but can't look away.

"It's beautiful."

We watch Catniss take care of her kids and prepare for the third.

"Why is this taking so long?" I whisper.

"According to the site, it's normal, but we should worry if an hour has passed," Edward explains, reading off of his phone.

It's been twenty minutes, and my poor furball looks exhausted.

I stroke her head but steer clear, careful not to touch the kittens. "You got this, girl."

Edward chuckles softly.

"What?"

"I talk to Peter like he's a person too."

"Sometimes, I'd rather talk to Catniss than an actual human." I shrug.

He nods and bumps me with his shoulder.

"How does it feel?"

I raise a brow in question.

"Being a grandma?"

I snort.

"It hasn't hit me yet. Ask me later."

It feels like hours have passed when Catniss gives a final, painful-looking push, and our third baby is born. It's tiny and it's color is off.

"Edward, it's not breathing."

Catniss nudges it softly, and it doesn't move.

Edward's fingers are tapping away at his phone, and I have my hand wrapped around my throat.

"Hand me a towel," he says and reaches in the closet.

"No, we aren't supposed to touch them."

"We don't have a choice, Bella." He pulls the kitten away from Catniss. "Give me a towel."

There are tears in my eyes as I watch him turn the tiny kitten over and rub it between the towel.

"You're being too rough."

"No, I'm doing exactly what they said to do." He lifts the towel. "Come on, little one."

I don't blink.

I don't breathe.

I just watch him try to revive the baby.

Time passes and he refuses to give up.

"It's okay, Edward."

"No," he growls.

"He's gone, Edward."

"Shhhhhhhh."

We both lean in as the kitten starts to squirm. It's _meow _is soft but it's there.

"Oh, my God," I cry.

"She just needed a little help, that's all." He sets the kitten right next to Catniss, and she sniffs it warily before nudging it toward the closest teat.

Tears are pouring down my face, and Edward wraps his arm around my shoulders and lets me cry it out.

"It's all right. Everything is fine."

"You don't know that."

"We'll take them to the vet first thing in the morning just to be sure."

**{CHILD SUPPORT}**

He was right.

Our littlest Nugget and her brothers were given a clean bill of health, and Edward insisted that we book the appointments to have them fixed before we left the clinic.

I worried about what would happen afterward. How we'd move forward. Shared custody? Adoption?

But Edward just shrugged and told me we'd figure it out.

And again, just like always, he was right.

We fell in love with the little furballs and managed to fall in love with each other at the same time.

Emmett was beside himself with love with our fur babies.

Catniss and Peter get along great despite their one night stand, which is a good thing because Edward asked me to move in with him on the kittens' first birthday.

Yeah, we threw them a party.

I don't have to worry about being the weird cat lady of the neighborhood because now I have a partner in the lunacy.

Edward still shows up with random gifts because I made him stop calling them child support payments. Cat treats, flowers, and dessert from the bakery.

And one day, he came home with a diamond ring.


End file.
